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As the old Neil Sedaka tune goes, breaking up is hard to.

But that can be construed as cowardly. And you owe them the common courtesy.

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Is there a lack of romantic feelings, do you have limited common ground, are you just not feeling it? For a short relationship, the answer may be pretty clear.

For longer relationships, the reasons will be more complex. Give yourself an out the same way you would on a first date by making plans with a friend immediately afterwards; a firm deadline will keep you from feeling like niceely have to rehash the girl to girl com over and over as your former partner comes to terms with it.

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Never has the golden rule been more applicable: Treat the other person as you would want to be treated. Because breakups involve a lot of feelings, sometimes, our emotions can get the best of us.

Instead, make the reasoning about. You someonw be gentle while being clear and direct about what you want. Use sentences that reflect your understanding of how the person feels, while also making sure you clearly express.

The goal of a breakup is to let someone down easy and end things without a lot of hurt and anger; not yp shred their self-esteem you do want them to go on to find happiness with someone else, right?

Being definitive is really about showing the other person respect.

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Just say it: After the conversation, make sure you don't express insincere intentions, like 'staying friends' if you don't mean it. For more ways to live your best life plus all things Oprah, sign up for our newsletter!

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Before you have the conversation, ask yourself why you're not satisfied. Don't drag it. Remember to be kind in the moment.

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Avoid focusing on what you think they did wrong. Be direct.

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